Shattered
by badwolf21
Summary: Set after Girl in the Fireplace. The Doctor and Rose's relationship is on edge and TARDIS decides to intervene.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know a lot of people have a problem with this episode, me included (What the hell was he thinking? What a stupid – okay, rant over), but you never know, Steven Moffat might amend this mistake by allowing the Tenth Doctor and Rose have proper kiss during the 50****th**** Anniversary. Wishful thinking, it does work. **

* * *

Rose left the Doctor in the console room, confronting his grief while she showed Mickey the rest of the TARDIS. She showed him the library, the swimming pool, the games room; however she declined his offer to watch a movie, claiming she was tired.

She retreated to her room, the TARDIS diverting her route so she would avoid the Doctor. Rose collapsed onto her bed, unsure of what to feel. How could he do that to them? Just leave them behind? But it was his decision. Rose had meddled with the laws of time when she saved her father and it had dire consequences. Who was she to tell the Time Lord what to do? Sarah Jane was right, she was a just a companion. Someone along for the travels.

But if that was the case, could she really stay? Watch the Doctor fall for some other pretty girl while she stayed on the side lines. It broke her heart when she realised she wasn't the only that has travelled with him. That she was special. After she was gone, he would move on again. She'd become a distant memory.

Rose had experienced a similar situation with Jimmy Stone. He always played mind games with her, and she was never sure of what he felt, until she walked in on him and some other girl in the toilets of a club they were at. It was then that Rose had the courage to tell him where to go. She left him and hoped that she never had to live through something like that again.

The Doctor wasn't like Jimmy. She was sure of that the day she met him. For one thing, Jimmy was never selfless, would never go the extra mile for someone. If someone else's life was in danger, he would run in the opposite direction.

When it came to the Doctor, it wasn't just the travelling she loved, it was simply being with him. She loved him. She thought he knew that. Rose shook her head. _Maybe I should just leave? He's so different now. _

New new Doctor was right.

A new man.

The old him would have never have done this. But even that wasn't strictly true, there was Lynda. Rose was jealous of her, another woman, another blonde to add to the list. Fantastic. Though that never led to anything, this time he had crossed a line.

She groaned, dark thoughts clouding her mind. She reached under her bed and found her rucksack. _Start packing now, should I? _

* * *

The Doctor let out a long, shaky breath, as he came to terms with the day's events. The realisation of a stranger accepting him so quickly, how she saw into his mind and never once judged him. But as he always did, he buried his feelings along with everything else. He slammed down the handbrake, and then watched the rotor rise and fall.

His expression was unreadable, nine hundred years of repressed emotion; he was good at hiding what he truly felt. Though sometimes this was misread as him not caring, his alien beliefs and attitude made friends feel like there was too much of a culture divide between them. The Doctor looked human but that didn't necessarily mean he understood why humans acted the way they did. He thought of Rose and how relieved she was when she saw him but what he didn't see was the hurt expression when she found out that he had asked Reinette to go with them.

He heard TARDIS grumble in the back of his head. "Not now." he growled to the thin air.

From a distance Mickey watched him, scratching the back of his neck. _Rose doesn't deserve this,_ he thought. The TARDIS couldn't agree with him more and decided to help her.

* * *

Back in Rose's room, clothes were being throw left, right and centre. Shoes littered the floor and photos were taken from the wall and were in a pile on the bed. The angry blonde muttered under her breath. She decided that she needed a break. The Doctor needed to sort out his head and so did she.

_He puts number one first, well so am I,_ she thought. _I'm not having this again. Even if it is him. _

"What do you think you're doing?" asked a familiar voice. A familiar northern voice.

She froze, scared to turn around in case she was misheard. It couldn't be.

"I asked you a question, Rose Tyler. What are you doing?"

Rose spun around to see the Doctor – her first Doctor standing behind her. His arms were behind his back as he gazed around the room, confused by her actions.

"Is this a dream?" she asked, weakly.

"Nope." he answered, then crossed his arms. "You didn't answer my question."

She swallowed and titled her head to the bag. "Packing."

"Ah." Her original Doctor stepped closer, just a few inches from her. "Don't leave."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm telling you to."

Rose circled the man who couldn't possibly be the Doctor, but instead of being a full figure, he was flat, like the projection she saw when he sent her away. But the image looked exactly like him, a clear, flawless image. No blue lines.

Rose arched an eyebrow, struggling with what she was seeing. She must have hit her head when those droids attacked her. "How can you be here?"

"I'm not." he said, as if it was obvious.

"But you changed. You… told me that you couldn't change back. And now you—" Her voice faded and she took a deep breath. "I didn't think I was going to see you again." She felt relieved, like it was so long ago and yet the real Doctor was just down the hall with a new face.

"I'm not him." he explained, gesturing to himself. "This is a hologram. To make it easier for us to talk, Rose Tyler."

Feeling brave, Rose reached out a hand to touch the Doctor but it went straight through his face and out the other side. The hologram flickered and then re-established itself.

"You're the TARDIS, aren't you? You're just using this image." Rose said, finally understanding.

The hologram smiled. "I always knew you were bright. The Doctor's equal."

Rose couldn't help but scoff. "Sorry, I think that position has been taken by another." she told him.

The hologram titled his head, staring at her. "You're wrong. Not all the time, but on this occasion you are wrong."

"Okay. I'll play along, why are you here? And why look like him?" Rose asked, pointing to the leather jacket.

The hologram looked down at the clothing, then smiled. That big grin that made Rose fall for the Doctor when she first met him, causing her blink back tears. _Oh_, how she missed him. "I'm here to tell you that I've known this man for years and through every change, one thing has always remained constant. He's an idiot."

Rose chuckled. "Yeah. He's the smartest man I've ever known and yet sometimes he can be so daft." Her voice became serious, yet laced with insecurity. "You can see inside his head, right? I mean, you and him are connected." The hologram nodded. "Did he love her?" she asked, her voice cracking.

Before the hologram could answer, Rose changed her mind. "You know what, don't tell me." She loosely crossed her arms, shaking her head, backing away. "Don't think I want to know."

"Ask him." he suggested.

"I can't. He's never good with his emotions, he wouldn't tell me. Doesn't really tell me anything."

"Wrong again."

"Am I?"

Rose sat down on the bed, flattening her hands against the duvet so she wouldn't scrunch it up as the anger boiled over. "I'm a shop girl from council estate who failed to get her A levels. She's a beautiful, educated, sophisticated woman who is the uncrowned Queen of France." She looked up to see the fake Doctor's face soften, almost hurt by her words. "I'm not good enough."

If the TARDIS had a corporal body, in that moment she would have tracked down the Doctor and slapped him Jackie style. Or maybe just take the ship to Jackie and let her do it instead. She watched the distressed companion crumble in front of her unable to give the hug she desperately needed.

"You're wrong." he repeated. Rose looked up, tears rolling down her cheeks. "Rose Tyler, the girl who took the Time Vortex in her head and destroyed half a million Daleks in the blink of an eye. The Bad Wolf. So great, she created herself."

"Yeah, but it's still there, isn't it? That werewolf guy, before he changed, he told me there was something of the wolf in me." Rose remarked. "I don't have logical thoughts, I just jump straight in, feet first."

"That's right." the hologram said, cheerfully. "You trust your gut instinct. You don't over analyse the situation. That isn't bad."

"It isn't good." Rose countered. "Look how much trouble I've got myself in. Seeing London from a balloon during the middle of a German air raid. That was really clever."

"Don't compare yourself." The hologram Doctor sounded angry, not at Rose, but at the man who put her in this position, the man who made her feel this way. "I know things about the Doctor that no one should know, or can know. But I can tell you that this was a mistake. A lapse in judgement. He will see the error of his ways."

"Is that your prediction?" Rose asked.

"That is my promise to you, Rose Tyler and the Bad Wolf." His voice was stern, but not cold, warm, like the light that Rose once bathed in. The light she felt in her mind.

The hologram Doctor faded from sight, as it was never there.

There was pause. Rose thought she imagined the image, as if it was all one big illusion, her mind allowing her a bit of peace. Rose sighed, wanting a distraction, when she heard a knock at her door.

Mickey's face peered through, looking baffled. "Erm... how do you get the TV to work? I can't seem to work the controls." he admitted, sheepishly.

Rose pushed herself off the bed and pulled Mickey in for a hug. Shocked at first, he gratefully returned it. "What was that for?" he asked.

"I'm just glad you're here." she said.

Mickey glanced over her shoulder and saw the bag and mess around the room. His eyes fixed Rose with a look of concern. "Going somewhere?"

Rose turned, and then stepped back from him. "No, not right now."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I cannot believe the response I have gotten for this. Thanks to everyone who has followed, reviewed or added it to their favourites list. Means a lot. **

* * *

The morning after, Rose bumped into the Doctor in the kitchen. They exchanged a polite smile, breaking the very thick piece of ice between the two of them. Neither had spoken after she left him in the console room, alone with his thoughts. _The slow path_, he wondered. _Would it be so bad?_

The Doctor's eyed followed Rose as she left the room with her breakfast, which wasn't unusual; sometimes she liked watching TV with her toast. So, he shouldn't worry, right?

He felt the TARDIS in the back of his mind urging him to make Rose feel at home which threw him. Why wouldn't she feel at home? This _was_ her home. That wouldn't change. He got up from his seat and walked towards the door. The TARDIS couldn't kick but the next best thing would do. As he passed the fridge door, it swung open smacking him in the back of the legs.

"What was that for?" he grunted.

_For making the best thing that has ever happened to you, feel unwelcome_, the TARDIS mentally screamed, but the connection didn't make it to him.

* * *

A few days later, Rose and Mickey were in the TV room, watching movies from the future and chatting about home and old memories. Having Mickey on board the TARDIS helped Rose more than he would ever know. She needed someone she could rely on. Mickey being there took her mind off other things, certain pinstriped things.

But the prediction in the back of Rose's mind lingered and she wondered what the ship had meant. She knew the ship was alive and had all sorts of wonderful capabilities, but could she really tell the future? She and the Doctor hadn't spoken about what had occurred in France but they were beginning to talk again.

While the friends were catching up, the Doctor was finishing the last-minute alterations under the console for the hundredth time (as if she was doing this on purpose). After he was done, he strolled around his ship looking for his companions and then heard the roar of laughter that came from Rose. He hadn't heard her laugh like that in days.

He missed it.

The Doctor followed the delightful sound until he came to the TV room, but as he got closer to the door, he overheard their conversation.

"Oh, I remember your face." Rose squeaked. "You practically ran out the room with nothing but your boxers on."

"Oi." Mickey said. "I was chased out the flat by your mother because _you_ snuck me in the night before."

"It would have been fine if you didn't snore so loud." Rose burst into a fit of giggles.

The Doctor knew they were reminiscing about their old relationship. A hint of jealously niggled at him. He turned on his heel and left them to their memories.

Inside the room, Mickey playfully hit Rose with a cushion around the back of her head. Nevertheless, a distracted Rose didn't notice and stared at the door. She walked over, opened it and stuck her head out looking up and down the empty corridor.

"What?" Mickey asked.

"I thought…" Rose said, closing the door behind her. "Nothing must be imagining things."

* * *

Over the next few weeks, the three friends seemed to get back to where they should be, laughing and joking. Rose giggled as they recalled their old stories. The Doctor was showing off as normal, unconsciously making Mickey feel bad, demonstrating how close he and Rose were. The connection he would never have with her.

So when they came back to the ship after leaving Mickey behind in the parallel universe, the cracks were beginning to show and matters took a turn for the worst. Rose rested her head against the doors of the TARDIS, wearing her maid uniform, tears wetting her cheeks. The Doctor flicked a couple of switches and the ancient engines roared. He looked up and saw that Rose hadn't moved, but stood silently crying.

"Rose, are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just…" She glanced up and gave him a weak smile. "Just going to miss him so much."

"Well, Mickey the idiot will be fine." he remarked, turning his attention back to the screen. His didn't mean for his comment to sound harsh but it snapped what little patience Rose had left.

She wiped her eyes. "Don't call him that." she whispered.

The Time Lord heard her and lifted his head up from the controls. "What did you say?"

"I said don't call him that." she said, louder.

"It was a joke." said the Doctor, taken back. "Rose, I didn't mean-"

"I want to see mum." she interrupted him. Her voice sounded angry, desperate. The Doctor gaped at her, wondering if that was a request or a demand. "Please, after everything—"

The Doctor nodded. "Okay, I'll set the coordinates for the Powell Estate."

Rose left the console room, not wanting to say anything else. She marched into her room, finding a change of clothes. The Doctor watched her leave, holding back the floodgates. She was upset and he wanted more than anything to comfort her, but he told himself that Jackie could do a better job.

* * *

The Doctor went the extra mile and landed to the TARDIS in the living room of the Tyler flat. Rose nearly enough threw herself at her mother when she saw her, feeling relieved to see a friendly face. They stayed for a couple of hours while Rose explained to Jackie, Mickey's choice to stay in the other universe. Jackie admitted that she would miss him too.

The Doctor stayed to the other side of the room while the two Tyler women consoled each other. He remembered how the TARDIS had been acting up in the last few days and how she had tripped him up or zapped him occasionally but he was so thankful to have the feel of his trusted ship back in his head.

The traveller watched Rose, realising how distant they had become in the last few days, but why? Nothing had changed. Well, nothing significant. He looked back through their last trips and realised that Rose became quiet after his trip France. Or was it before that?

_Sarah Jane, maybe it was meeting her? _he pondered. _What did they say to each other in that computer room? Did I hurt her by not telling her I've travelled with others? Was it what I said outside the café? Damn, was so close to admitting how much I – I said wither and die, what was I thinking? But one day, I am going to lose her. Horrible thought, don't think about that. Mickey, maybe? Bad timing on my part with that joke. Nicely done, Doctor. She did just lose a good friend and someone she used to love. It's hit her harder than she expected. But that doesn't really explain what I've done to make her… so far away. _

Rose glanced over to him and he smiled, trying to lighten the mood, but she returned to talking with her mother without giving him a smile back. His breath hitched.

That's when he knew.

Rose _was_ mad. How did he not see it? He looked to his ship and then to Rose. _What have I done? _

* * *

When they returned to the TARDIS, the Doctor seemed more bouncy all of a sudden, like he was over compensating. He was more manic than usual.

"How about a cup of tea?" he suggested, rubbing the palms of hands together.

"Nah, I'm tired. It's been a long day." Rose pretended to yawn. "Sleepy."

The Doctor nodded, seeing through her lie, but he let it go away. Calling her out on it might make matters worse.

"Night, Doctor."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around his friend, holding her tight. Rose returned the hug but not the way she used to. She always squeezed him back. He was fighting a losing battle. She pulled away and gave him a fake smile.

"Okay." the Doctor mumbled, putting his hands into his pockets. "See you in a few hours."

Rose walked away, heading for her room. She was out of earshot when the Doctor tapped the console and murmured "Can I fix this?"

* * *

_I should have asked the Doctor if we could have stayed longer, _Rose thought, slipping into her pyjamas. _With Mickey gone, I don't know if I can keep my emotions in check. What if I have an outburst and ruin the friendship we have? That's the last thing I want._

She glanced around the room, which now seemed empty. Rose wished that TARDIS would bring the hologram back so she could just listen to her old Doctor's voice again. "You promised me." she whispered.

"Promised what?"

Rose jumped, spun around and saw the new new Doctor behind her.

"It's rude not to knock." she said, dryly.

"Sorry." he breathed. "Who are you talking to?"

Rose shrugged. "Doesn't matter."

"Haven't been in here for a while." he said, cheerfully. "You cleaned up." He studied the room. Rose was an untidy person, but never dirty. Clothes on the chair where she'd thrown them after a long day and couldn't be asked to clean up or magazines on the floor. But there was none of that.

The room was spotless, no mess in sight. In fact, the room seemed to be missing a few items. The Doctor noted that the photos had been taken down and her dressing table was no longer cluttered with various products.

Rose lifted her head to see a confused and panicked Doctor. "Rose, have you packed away your stuff?"

"Just the non-essentials." she replied, causally.

The Doctor ruffled his hair, puzzled. "Are you leaving?"

She looked him in the eye and sighed. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" His voice was desperate as the urgency and seriousness of the situation hit him. _How could I not see this coming? _He scratched the back of his neck, listing all the possible theories. "Have I said something to upset you? Or is because Mickey left and you're taking out your anger on me? What is it?"

Rose didn't notice his hands were shaking as her own rage coursed through her. "Unbelievable." she muttered. Rose wanted to strangle him and in that moment the TARDIS wouldn't have stopped her. Could he really be that thick? _He's such an alien. _

"Was it what I said to you outside the café?" he suggested, completely missing the point.

"Nope." Rose said, clenching her fists.

"Tell me what I said or done, because I have no idea. Just tell me. Whatever it is you can trust me."

And there is was.

The key word: Trust.

Rose scoffed, her warm brown eyes becoming darker. The TARDIS felt the Bad Wolf rising, Rose didn't need the Time Vortex to become that animal again, it was already inside her.

It was her strength.

The Vortex just enhanced it.

The Time Lord mind wondered, shaking his head, recalling every movement and conversation they had in recent weeks._ She looks furious. Is that it, trust?_ _Trust? When did I break her trust? Can't be Sarah Jane, they were laughing at me and making jokes. Reinette? No, Rose and her got along fine. Okay, technically I wasn't there for that but why wouldn't they get along. Is she pissed for me leaving her behind? Or that I invited Rienette to come with us? Whatever it is, she can't leave. It's Rose. _

The Doctor paused, his hearts thumping against his chest. "Rose, you do trust me, don't you?"

"That the thing, Doctor," Rose said, her anger getting the better of her. The outburst that she had tried so hard to avoid was about to happen and she wasn't going to hold back. "Trust is like a mirror. And you rode a horse through it!"


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who has read this. Sorry for the delay, this took a little longer than I expected. I kept rewriting it. **

* * *

_"__That the thing, Doctor." Rose said, her anger getting the better of her. The outburst that she had tried so hard to avoid was about to happen and she wasn't going to hold back. "Trust is like a mirror. And you rode a horse through it!"_

The Doctor swallowed, hard. "To save her." he murmured, weakly. "I did it to save an innocent woman."

"On a horse!" Rose barked. "Did she really stroke your ego that much or was her aim a little lower?"

His eyes widened, realising her true meaning. "Nothing like that happened."

"Really? You left us! You left us without looking back, knowing that you would be stuck there."

"It wasn't like that. I couldn't use the TARDIS, and the minute it landed we would have been part of events." he yelled, his voice getting louder to battle Rose.

"We already were. All three of us had met her." Rose avoided his gaze and added quietly. "You were heartbroken over a woman you barely knew."

"I wasn't heartbroken." he admitted.

"I've never seen you like that. Ever." Rose pointed out. "You said she looked into your mind and didn't run. God knows what happened in France, but it caused you to invite her to come along with us."

"You wanted to invite Sarah Jane!" he shouted. "How is that different?"

"Because she knows what you're like!" Rose countered. "She's able to call you out on it. Sarah Jane knows you like to show off. It's like you can't help yourself. You're worse than Jack sometimes."

"Don't compare me to him!" the Doctor shouted, pointing at her. "I'm not -"

"What?!" she interjected, waving her arms gesturing at his new form. "You don't like impressing the girls? Don't like showing what the amazing Time Lord can do? Tell everyone that you're better than them?"

The Doctor crossed his arms, but still tried to make his side of the argument known. "I don't think I'm better than-"

Rose scoffed. "You did it to Mickey. Don't think that the dumb blonde didn't realise what you were doing earlier, using every opportunity to make him worthless."

"When I have I ever said you were dumb?" he asked.

"That's not the point." Rose shrieked, rubbing her head.

"Rose, are you going to leave?" he asked again, his voice shaking. She didn't answer, so he added. "This is your home."

"Is it?" she retorted.

"Yes." he replied, firmly. "This will always be your home."

Rose sat down on the bed, her legs shaking from the overbearing tension. They had never fought like this. "A home is where you feel safe," she argued. "Where you feel wanted and appreciated, and lov—" She glanced up at the Doctor, feeling his intense gaze. "You ruined my home the minute you forgot your friends because some girl in a tight corset wiggled her hips at you."

Exhausted, Rose stood up with her back to the Doctor with her arms around her waist. She began to sob, her emotion overwhelming over. She never thought she could hate him. Was it possible to hate someone you loved so much?

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak, but what else could he say? So many words had been exchanged in the last few minutes and yet nothing was resolved. He knew that they were both tired of talking.

In a last attempt, the Doctor stepped behind her, hesitantly stroked her arm with the back of his hand. She hissed at the contact, but didn't pull away. The Doctor took this as a good sign and slid his arms around her waist, pulling against him, holding them tight. Rose couldn't help it but melted back to him, her heart racing. He hugged her tighter, her head leaned back against his chest.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

For a second she was lost in the sensation, until she felt his hot breath against her neck then her instincts kicked in, destroying the moment as she abruptly tore away from him.

"Don't!." she snapped. "Don't think you can make this better with a hug."

The Doctor retreated, sliding his hands in his pockets.

"I can't keep doing this." she said, keeping her distance. "Rienette called you an angel. An angel who was worth the monsters. But she doesn't know what else comes with it. She might have seen your memories, but you…_You_ grabbed my hand, told me to run and I've left everything for you! I put my mother and friends through hell because of you. I was gone for a year, driving her out of her mind and -" She bit her lip. "Now I'm wondering if it was worth it."

"You don't mean that." he breathed.

"The old you wouldn't have done this." Tears streamed down her face as Rose couldn't bear the pain any longer.

"We're the same man!"

"Yeah. Just little a bit foxy." she reminded him, her voice filled with sarcasm. "And don't you know it."

Her words were like a knife to the gut. Only Rose Tyler could do this to him. Hurt him like that without laying a finger on him.

The Bad Wolf and her claws.

The Doctor grimaced, he turned, slamming the door as he left. The noise didn't catch Rose off guard, she expected it. Her heavy breathing slowed down as she grounded herself, waiting for the hatred to subside. _The Doctor and the monsters. For him, some things are worth getting your heart broken for. Even if he is the one breaking it. _

She looked to the ceiling, hoping the TARDIS would hear her. "What do I do?"

* * *

The Doctor marched down the corridor, heading in the direction of his hardly used room. Once inside, he slid down the door, resting his head in his hands. _Please let me fix this._

If he could go back and … She was right. Rose Tyler was _always_ right. What was he thinking? Had she lost respect for him completely? What is she didn't want to travel with him? Did Rose compare herself to Rienette? How could she?

Mickey had said that it would always be him and Rose, so there was hope.

_Me and Rose, that's how it should be. Or Rose didn't tell him what she truly felt and kept it to herself? She was so relieved to see him and then so desperate for him to stay. _

The Doctor.

The Oncoming Storm.

The Man without a Home.

The Lonely Angel.

The Doctor cringed at that name, shaking his head. He was no angel.

_I've got far too much blood shed on my hands to be even be called a hero, _he thought._ But Rienette didn't know that. Rose did. Rienette had only seen the memories, Rose had actually lived it. She saved planets, had her life put in danger, her mind nearly burned because she wanted to save me. "My Doctor" she said. I wonder if she still means that? Rose knows everything about me, well almost everything. _

_She stopped me killing that Dalek. She stopped me becoming a monster. Rose didn't run from me when I was my worst. All those nights I had bad dreams and she comforted me and told me I was a good man. Blimey, I really don't deserve her. _

He needed to know what her choice was.

The Doctor lifted himself to his feet and ventured to Rose's room. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

"What?" she muttered.

"Can I come in?"

She made him wait a few second, which seemed like hours to him before saying yes. His hand shook as he placed it on the handle and pushed down. He found her on sitting on the floor, her back against her bed. Rose's eyes were red and puffy, evidence of what a prick he had been to her.

He sat down next to her, but kept his distance, there was still a few inches between them. He didn't want to presume that he had the right to be so close to her. The Doctor was grateful that he was allowed to be the room with her.

"Rose, I am so sorry. I had no idea that I made you feel this way. I got caught up in everything, shocked at what Rienette did and that's not an excuse, it's just…. How can I make this better?" he asked, looking at the ground.

"I don't know if you can." Rose admitted.

"Let me try." the Doctor pleaded, looking at her properly. "Please give me a second chance."

"Doctor -"Rose shook her head, breathing heavily.

"You're right. I do show off." he confessed, hoping it would spark a reaction. Rose listened carefully but still weighed the options in her mind. "You would think an old man like me would have grown out that by now."

Rose studied the terrified Time Lord, the anticipation was killing him. His once warm eyes were becoming cold. _I don't want fight him anymore._ _So much has happened recently_… She wanted to everything to return the way things were but she wasn't entirely convinced.

"I'm sorry." he carried on. "I'm an idiot and a coward. But I'm begging right now, please don't leave me."

Rose swallowed, her heart telling her to forgive but not forget. "Bridges will have to be rebuilt." she stated.

"I'll even do the heavy lifting." he declared, his voice dead serious. "Whatever it takes it take to make this right."

"Doctor, I won't be second best. I've done that before and I won't do it again. The fact is that you left without a second thought. Like the last couple of years didn't matter." Rose explained, then her voice dropped to a whisper. "Like I didn't matter."

The Doctor silently cursing his insensitivity in every language he could think of in that moment. "Of course, you matter." he told her.

The TARDIS opened her connection and he felt the familiar hum in the back of his mind, urging him to tell her the truth.

"I didn't love her." the Doctor confessed. "How could I – like you said I barely knew her. I did kiss her. I wanted to save her and I didn't go about it the right way about it and I was upset when she died. But that was it, I swear. I couldn't love her when-" his voice trailed off.

His ship shrieked at him to tell her how much he loves her, but faltered and quickly changed the subject. "I want you to stay. I _need _you stay."

"Things might not go back to how they were." Rose told him as she considered his apology.

"We can try." he said.

Rose nodded, wiping away the last of her tears. Curious, the TARDIS watched the friends try to rebuild the shattered remains of their friendship, knowing what challenge awaited them next. But sometimes, some things had to be lived in order to understand the bigger picture. A turning point that leads to something new.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay – just started a new job. It's all been very hectic. **

* * *

After the tough words from the night before, the Time Lord wasn't sure whether to keep his distance for a bit or try to carry on like normal. Not that their lives were ever normal. What would he do now? Tyler women very stubborn and he wondered how long it would take to make amends. Thankfully time was the one thing he was good at… well most of the time.

Resting his feet on the console, the Doctor leaned back on the captain's seat, feeling the stress burn through him. He ran his hands through his hand, knowing that there wouldn't be a quick fix, no easy solution, no magic wand that could repair the damage.

_Trust is like a mirror… _

He shuddered at the words. _If a mirror could be fixed, would you still be able to see the cracks?_ he pondered.

"Stupid man, stupid man." he groaned, sliding down the chair.

The TARDIS hummed in agreement, which didn't lift his spirits.

"I know. I know." he breathed.

He lifted his legs from the console and planted them firmly on the floor. _I can't wait for something to happen, _he thought. _I'm the Doctor; making things better is what I do. Even if it's just little steps. _

The Doctor strode down the corridor heading towards Rose's room, when he was struck by the smell of hot tea coming from the kitchen. He poked his head inside and found a bed head monster by the name of Rose Tyler sitting at the table. She was nursing a cup of tea and her head snapped up when she heard the Doctor opening the door.

"Hi." she said, her voice hoarse.

"Hello." he said, softly "Can I join you?"

Rose nodded and returned to her drink. The Doctor poured himself a cup and sat opposite side of the table. He took a sip and smiled.

"Good cup, if I do say so myself." he said.

Rose rolled her eyes, but humoured him. "Uh – huh."

The Doctor noted her tone and decided to change tactics. The direct approach. No point in beating around the bush. "What did you mean when you said you've done this before?" he asked.

The question lingered in the air before Rose dared answer it. "I've been taken for granted before this." she told him, her eyes still fixated on the tea.

"Jimmy?"

"Yep. That's the one."

"You never said what happened."

"Doesn't matter now." she said, causally waving her hand.

The Doctor reached out for her hand, but stopped mid-air, forgetting himself. "Sorry." he murmured. Rose's eyes widened, sensing a change. She felt the hum of the ship in the back of her mind. She lifted her head and had to bite her lip from gasping as she saw the hologram of her original Doctor appear behind the Doctor. He raised a finger to his lips, telling her not to make the Time Lord aware of his existence.

Her eyes returned to the anxious man in front of her, his expression was gentle, which eased Rose. Feeling brave a bit braver, she decided to tell him the truth. "We were together. He was in a rock band, said he was going to be a big success and I believed him. Left school because of him. Then at one of his gigs, I went to surprise him and caught him with another woman. He didn't even apologise, so you beat him in that respect."

"I never knew."

Rose snickered, but it wasn't her usual laugh that the Doctor was used to hearing. There was something almost vulnerable about it. "All in the past."

"Did you know her?"

"Some random girl he just picked up." she told him. "Funny how history repeats itself." Rose added, under her breath.

The Doctor still heard her and swallowed hard. "Nothing happened with me and Rienette." he repeated.

"So, you keep saying." Rose retorted, her hands gripping the handle of the mug tightly.

The Doctor drained the rest of his tea. "And I will until you believe me."

She let out a long shaky breath, and then scratched the back of her neck. "I don't know what to believe." she admitted. "I've spent a lot of time with you. I thought I knew you, but I never imagined you could be this ignorant. What happened to the man who said 'he could save the world but lose me?'"

The Doctor pointed at his chest. "He's still in here."

She glanced to the hologram behind him, who nodded in agreement, and pointed at the Doctor's chest, and then at his own. Rose still trusted the TARDIS, which made her next question a little easier. "Okay. Answer me this: Did you want Rienette to be a permanent companion?"

"No." he replied, instantly.

"Then why?"

"She wanted to see the stars. It would have been one trip and then back home. She was historical figure, I couldn't risk getting her killed and changing the course of history." the Doctor informed her.

"Just one trip?" Rose mumbled, feeling a little relieved. The hologram rolled his eyes, and began to pace up and down the room still unseen by the Doctor, whose focus was solely on Rose.

"Yes." His voice was firm and serious, making her feel more relaxed.

"Oh." Rose said. The hologram came to a standstill, and gave her a reassuring smile. She shook her head and leant back in her chair. "But she was brilliant and so… Rienette was educated and proper and you have more in common with her than you do with me."

The Doctor arched an eyebrow. "I suppose in a way…"

If the hologram was more than an image, the Doctor would have felt the heated glare coming from behind him. Rose took gulp of her drink, pretending not to be amused by the ships' actions and zoned out as the Doctor began one of his long rambles. Most of the time they were lovely and she would have loved to listen to him, but recent events had changed so much between them.

_He really can stick his foot in it at times. Maybe he's more like a human boy that he realises. How does she put up with him? The TARDIS was hurt that day too. But then again, she's known him longer, can predict his actions better than I can. Look at him, still going. I wonder if she gets tired of hearing his voice? She should use the hologram to tell him to shut the fu-_

"…But she'll never be you." the Doctor concluded.

Rose caught the last of that sentence and choked on her drink. The Doctor quickly jumped to her aid and patted her on the back. The hologram faded from sight, her influence no longer needed, for now.

"What?" she spluttered.

"I said, she'll never be you."

Rose gaped at him. "But… I… But she's …" She started again, but her hand shook as she placed her mug on the table. "Rienette would never get into half as much trouble as me. I mean apart from clockwork droids coming for her, she didn't get chased by Slitheen or kidnapped by bold monks. She's more intelligent than I'll ever be." Rose confessed, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Please stop comparing yourself to her." the Doctor said, returning to his seat.

He gave her his warmest smile and she could feel herself beginning to melt again. "I'm -" she started.

"Never second best." the Doctor said, his serious voice returning. He grabbed her hand and entwined their fingers. "You're the girl I was always tell to run, because I want _you_ to run with me."

Before she acknowledged what she was doing, Rose thumb was stroking the Doctor's hand. A moment passed before he gently pulled his hand back and she instantly missed his touch. They hadn't been close like this for far too long.

"Rose, I miss you. I miss this. Me and you talking like we used to. But if you feel like you can't stay, then what happens next is up to you." he said. "However I would love it if you did.

Rose rubbed her eyes, making the Doctor wait for an answer. He waited patiently as she stood up, and walked to the sink with her empty mug. "I'll stay, on one condition."

"Name it."

"Apologise –"

"I'll do every day." he interrupted.

"Not to me." she giggled. "To the TARDIS."

A look over confusion washed over him.

"You didn't just leave me and Mickey." Rose explained. "This ship is alive and has been there for you for over seven hundred years, and you left her behind without a driver."

"Ah." the Doctor said, realising. "Wait, is that why I keep getting shocked?"

"What do you think?." she said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm going to go the console room to beg forgiveness from her as well." he muttered, dashing out the room.

Rose couldn't help but let out a little laugh. The hologram established itself next to her, almost shoulder to shoulder. Rose's felt it presence immediately but didn't turn to face him.

"Thank you." the hologram said, grinning.

Rose gave a tongue in teeth smile and for moment forgot that it was a hologram standing next to her, not a real person. Within a few second her smile faded.

"This isn't over, is it?" she asked, grimly.

"Nope. Not yet." he replied.


	5. Chapter 5

The next couple of days were quiet for the travellers. They kept things very domestic, watching movies, baking cookies. The Doctor even took Rose back to visit her mother without making a fuss. Trying to work his way back into her good books was something that he was determined to do.

The following morning, the Doctor told Rose they were going to Earth in the 50s and for her to dress up for the occasion. Excited by the thought of another trip, Rose ran to the wardrobe to pick out a new outfit. She flicked through the clothes on the railing, when a cream, corseted gown caught her eye. Rose hesitantly pulled out the dress, walked to the big oval mirror and lifted it to her reflection. Rose sighed; she couldn't help but think that the gown was too beautiful for a shop girl to wear.

"Not quite me." she whispered.

The TARDIS hummed disapprovingly, listening to the broken companion's heart. Taking matters in her own hands (metaphorically speaking), she sent Rose the mental image of a pretty dress. Rose returned to the gown to its original place and followed the warm hum in her mind until she came to a pink prom dress. Next to it was a blue jacket, perfect for her next trip.

"Thanks." she breathed.

As she was getting ready, Rose thought about what the Doctor had told her. _He seemed genuine. Maybe this new new Doctor can be trusted. He's making an effort, but is that enough? _

She stepped up to the mirror again, her high heels echoing through the room. Rose smiled at her reflection, twirling the dress. Not as elegant as Rienette but still glamorous in her own way.

She smoothed down the dress, as her insecurities surfaced again. _Remember what the Doctor said. She wasn't me. She wasn't me. But what if that's still not enough? I'm just as good as her, right? I need to use my brain more, think before I act. Rienette might be more educated than I am, but I've been travelling the stars for nearly two years, that has to count for something. He asked me to come with him. Twice. _

The Doctor strolled into the room, but stopped mid stride, struck by the sight of Rose in tights. A smile crossed his face, she looked gorgeous. Of course, he couldn't say that out loud. It would have crossed boundaries. So instead he said, "You look lovely."

Rose turned to him, her arms wrapped around her waist. "For a human?"

The Doctor nodded, remembering their trip to Cardiff so long ago. Rose studied the Time Lord and his chosen outfit for their trip. He was in his usual brown suit but he had gelled his hair back, losing its spiky touch, not that she minded.

"You ready to go?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

* * *

The TARDIS landed but instead of arriving in New York like they intended, they landed in London 1953. The day before the Queen Elizabeth's coronation. While the Doctor was rambling about how great that year was, Rose noticed that everyone living down that road had TV aerial. A comment that turned out to be such a vital clue in the mystery and she had no idea.

Investigating further into the puzzle, they found that not only were people being taken from their houses, and bundled into the back of a black car but they also discovered that people's faces were being taken. Tommy showed them the sight of his grandmother, a once wise and smiling woman, who now couldn't express any emotion. While trying to piece the puzzle pieces together, men pushed their way through the house, grabbed the fragile woman and struggled back to the car.

The Doctor rushed out after them with Rose on his tail when she saw a strange crackle of energy coming from the TV set. The Doctor left without her, not wanting to lose them again while Rose lingered in the Connolly home. She found the name Magpie on the back of the set and decided to do some investigating of her own.

Rose arrived at the shop and asked the cowering man a couple of questions when the real threat showed her true face and in turn, and attacked the daring companion. Meanwhile the Doctor was elsewhere helping the police, figuring out what was cause of the problem when the next victim was brought in front of him.

The Time Lord was a patient man, a passionate man, a man who would go above and beyond to do what was right. But like every man with blood in his veins, he had a weakness, something that could make that blood boil.

_Rose. _

_You know her? _

_Know her? She… _

The Doctor stared at his pink and yellow girl, helpless. The sounds of the officers in the background became white noise. Nothing else mattered because he had failed her again.

She was gone.

No tongue in teeth smile, no warm, brown eyes.

Nothing.

The face that he adored was gone.

His chest tightened, his hearts pounding wildly against his ribcage, like the sound of drums calling him to battle. Whoever this alien was would pay dearly. And yet at the same time, he was full of sorrow.

Rose would never know.

If this state was permanent, if he couldn't reverse it, then he would never be able to tell her. Those little words that meant so much and made him more vulnerable than he would like to be.

Time Lords repressed their emotion, kept it hidden. He wasn't even emotional when it came to his wife, an arranged marriage for political gain, not love. But when he grabbed Rose's hand, the walls that he grew up with, the walls that he had put in place so long ago, the ones that he was taught to build, were beginning to break down. Tiny little cracks appeared with each hug, each trip, and each time they were reunited.

Rose did all that.

A human girl, with a heart that he broke.

His thoughts drifted to the last couple of weeks. They had argued, shouted, yelled at each other but she never said that she had forgiven him. If he never found out, he could never live with himself.

A stupid, damn mistake could have destroyed what they had. Something beautiful and he nearly ripped it apart by not thinking clearly, caught up in clockwork droids and the adrenaline rush.

The sounds of the officers talking of her whereabouts brought snapped him back to reality. Whoever this was had treated her colder than he did and that was unforgivable.

_They did what? _

_I'm sorry? _

_They left her where? _

_Just… in the street. _

_In the street. They left her in the street. They took her face and just chucked her out and left her in the street. And, as a result, that makes things… simple, very, very simple. Do you know why? _

_No. _

_Because now, Detective Inspector Bishop, there is no power on this Earth that can stop me! Come on! _

This was the event that the Doctor lost all rational thought, forgot his manners, even his sonic screwdriver and punched a hole through to the glass reach the handle of the door into Magpie's shop. No sign of the shop owner, so he began his search and discovered the true energy source that was the cause of all the suffering they had endured.

The TV screens suddenly switched themselves on revealing the stolen faces. Faces of loved ones like Tommy's Nan. The Doctor's eyes scanned all of them until he came to a screen on the bottom showing the distressed face of Rose. His breath hitched. He wanted nothing more than to reach and touch her. She was shouting out the word "Doctor."

It broke his hearts. After everything, she still called out to him.

_I'm on my way. _

As soon as Magpie showed up in the shop, the Doctor lost it again; his expression was thunderous as he backed the weak man into the corner of the room.

_I want my friend restored… _

But for once the Doctor was honest with himself, Rose wasn't a friend.

That was simple.

More than a friend, but not quite his lover.

The girl who saved him over and over and he'll never be done returning the favour. He would always put Rose's life in danger even if he didn't mean to. Travelling with him exposed her to such threats and if that was her future, then she needed to know the truth. She deserved to know.

The Doctor's rage faded as he focused on the task and trapped The Wire on a video tape. Succeeding with their mission, him and Tommy ran to the police station and discovered all the victims' faces were restored. Timmy raced to see his Nan while the Doctor inspected all the faces until she caught a blonde in a pink dress waiting for him.

He grabbed her in a big hug, relieved and thankful that he had found her again. They clung to each other tight as the families left the station. They followed hand in hand until they reached the street party.

They didn't return to the TARDIS until later that night, dancing under the stars, watching history unfold around them. They opened to the doors to the ship, laughing and talking like they should, stronger than before.

The TARDIS hummed, happy with the turn of events. Rose wandered to her room to change and the Doctor watched her in awe. After she left, he ran his hands through his hair, making a decision.

"No more hiding." he whispered.

* * *

Rose changed back into jeans and t – shirt. She pulled her slippers out from under her bed when she spotted her rucksack. Rose lifted it onto the bed and looked inside; seeing all items that she packed when she was so sure that she was leaving.

The TARDIS _was_ her home.

There was no doubt in that.

The Doctor, however, she was still unsure about his actions in France or why he did what he did, but she still loved him. _My Doctor, _she thought.

Her hand dived into the bag and pulled out a photo of her first Doctor and herself at Cardiff smiling. Distant memories, but happy ones.

There was a knock at the door, as the new new Doctor remembered his manners.

"Come in." she said.

The Doctor opened the door, but didn't enter the room. Her lips curved into a grin as she lifted the photo of them to his eye line. "That was a great day, until we found out that Margret was still alive."

"Yeah." he said, tugging his ear, nervously. Rose turned her back and began to unpack her bag when the Doctor abruptly said, "I'm sorry."

"For what? I was the one that wandered off. Again."

"Not for that, well yeah, for that, but for everything… For what I did."

Rose arched an eyebrow as he carried on, intrigued by where this was going. "From the bottom of my hearts I'm so sorry for what I did you, Mickey and the TARDIS. It was inexcusable and I hope you've forgiven me." He paused, trying to find the words before he chickened out. "I didn't love Rienette…."

"Doctor, its okay…." Rose turned to face him, her voice gentle.

"No, it's not." he muttered, lifting his hands in protest. "I made a mistake. A horrible mistake that nearly took away the one thing I can't live without. I honestly don't know if it was denial or…" His voice faded, as he stepped closer to his baffled friend. "Time Lords are very logical beings. Feelings like love or lust never really entered our minds. Everything was planned out and _you_ weren't planned. I never loved Rienette. I couldn't when I love someone else."

Rose gaped as brave man wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her chest against his. He leant in and whispered into her ear, finishing his declaration. "When I love you."

Rose shuddered, thankful for where his hands where at that moment otherwise she had a suspicion that she would have stumbled back. Her arms clutched his, her fingers rubbing against his jacket to make sure this wasn't another hologram or possibly a dream.

_Nope, he's real. Very, very real. _

The Doctor watched her intently, waiting for a response. "Rose, I love you." he repeated, thinking he hadn't heard her.

"Oh." was all she managed to say, still recovering from the shock.

The Doctor pulled back, searching her face for answers. _If she rejects me…. _The walls he built around his hearts crumbled, leaving him exposed and more naked than he had ever felt. "That's good, right?" His voice cracked, but he didn't care. He needed to know.

"Really good." She said looking up, tongue poking out between her teeth. "Better than good."

The Doctor beamed at her, and then gently kissed the top of her head. "Okay, well, -"

Before he could finish his sentence, Rose grabbed him by his jacket lapels and captured his mouth with her own, stopping his oh so rational and logical brain completely. The Doctor groaned, as Rose coaxed his mouth open, slipping in her tongue allowing her to explore his mouth properly.

After a few minutes, Rose broke the kiss, and took a deep breath before reciprocating her feelings. "I love you." she breathed. "I love you."

He leant his head against hers, grinning. "Sorry it took me so long. I was just scared. This is all very new to me."

"It's okay." Rose breathed, her lips ghosting over his. "I've got you."

* * *

A few hours later, Rose turned and felt the cool skin of a naked Time Lord behind her. The Doctor was fast asleep; even with his "superior biology" she was still able to wear him out. Rose grinned, proud of her accomplishment, but didn't want to stop there and peppered kisses along his jaw.

The Doctor let out a quiet moan, his eyes fluttering open. "Hello." he mumbled.

"Hello."

His hand snaked around her back, pulling her until she was on top of him, chest to chest. The Doctor kissed his precious girl's nose, his hand resting on her back. Rose giggled; she never imagined the Doctor could have this side to his personality. She was liking the new new Doctor even more.

"I promise I won't hide anymore." he told her.

"I'm holding you to that." she said, running her hands through his messy locks.

He chuckled, staring into her eyes. "I've never done this before."

"Slept with a companion?"

"Well that and this." He gestured to him, then her. "I've never felt this way and that scares me. Not many things scare me."

"It scares me too. But we'll face it together." Rose said, before sealing her mouth over his.

* * *

**A/N: One more chapter to go after this. I'm in shock of how well this story has done. Never thought in a million years I would get this response, so thank you to everyone. I love The Idiot's Lantern episode; it really makes them stronger and brings them back to where they should be. Plus, his reaction in this when he sees what the Wire has done to Rose, just proves how much he loves her. **


	6. Chapter 6

The TARDIS couldn't help but feel smug and proud, but also very smug. She had told herself that she would never interfere with the affairs of the Doctor's hearts but the moment Rose stepped aboard, her mind changed.

Rose Tyler, his friend, his soul mate, his equal.

It had been a couple of days since the friends had crossed that line. Most of that time had been spent in bed as they explored each other physically and emotionally. Rose told the Doctor about bits and pieces of her childhood and in turn was shocked when he told her about what it was like growing up on Gallifrey.

His breathing slowed as revealed more than he intended but as Rose held his hand, it didn't seem so scary. After each nugget of information, she wrapped her arms around his waist, closing the gap between them. She kept telling him that she wouldn't push him and she could be patient, but he told he wanted her to know everything. He said no more hiding and he meant it.

The Doctor apologised again, asking Rose whether the mirror had been fixed and she simply told him that they had a whole new one. His thumb trailed over the apple of her cheek as he repeated the three little words that bound them.

Rose blushed, raising her hands to cover her face.

"What?" he asked.

She refused to meet his gaze, knowing her face had turned a lovely shade of red. "I keep thinking it's a dream. Like I'm going to wake up and none of this has happened." she told him.

With a cheeky grin, the Doctor snuck his hand under the duvet and pinched her arm.

"Ow." Rose pulled away, pretending to be hurt. "What did you do that for?"

"That's what humans do, don't they? When they think they're dreaming." he explained, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Mean." she giggled, knowing she couldn't stay mad when he smiled at her like that. "I might have to withhold hugs now."

In retaliation, the Doctor rolled Rose onto her back and gently nipped her collarbone. Rose shivered, her eyes held his gaze. "Rose Tyler, don't joke about such things," he growled.

* * *

A couple of hours later, the lovers decided to get changed. They couldn't spend all their time in bed, despite the Time Lord's pleas. The Doctor left Rose in the kitchen while she was making them breakfast and he sauntered into the console room. He tapped the rotor, smiling more in the last few hours than he had done in his entire life.

"Feel better?" a familiar voice asked.

The Doctor lifted his head to see a leather jacket version of himself standing near the doors. The Time Lord arched an eyebrow, eyeing the impossible figure.

"I'll take it you haven't accidently stepped into the wrong ship." he muttered.

"You didn't answer my question." the hologram said. "Does it feel better? To tell the truth?"

The Doctor nodded, his lips twitching, trying not to grin too much. Then it dawned on him. "Are you-?"

"Yes." the hologram simply said.

"Did you know this was going to happen?" the Doctor asked as the events of the last few weeks became clear.

"Yes." the hologram flickered, then appeared next to the alien. "A turning point. Something to change your mind and break the barriers. Rose has been in trouble before, but not like this. Some things need to be lived to understand the bigger picture."

The Doctor sunk down on the captain's seat, his arms resting on his knees. "Did you tell her to stay?"

"I made her a promise. One promise that you would come to your senses." His voice was warm and the Doctor's connection with his beloved ship made him blink back tears. _TARDIS knows best, _he thought.

"Thank you." the Doctor murmured. "Really, thank you. You've always looked after me."

"Well, now there's two of us." the hologram said, smiling. "She's a special girl."

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, she is." His voice was gentle and full of admiration of the companion that had chosen to stay with him. He studied the jacket that he was once so fond of as the hologram glanced around the room. "Why appear like this?" he asked.

"Rose was in love with you before you changed. She's bright and sweet girl but she needed to adjust to the new you."

"And now?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

The Doctor opened his mouth to respond when he heard the footsteps of one Miss Tyler coming towards him. He turned back to the hologram, but he was gone.

"Everything alright?" she asked, entering the room.

"Perfect." the Doctor stated.

"Okay." she said. "I've made pancakes. The banana ones have just been served." Rose had just finished her sentence when the Doctor leapt at her, kissed her firmly on the mouth before dashing down the corridor, letting his nose lead the way.

"Love you." he shouted back.

Rose shook her head, chuckling. _Yep, still an idiot. But my idiot. _She glanced around the console room, hoping that the TARDIS would be able to hear her. "Thank you for keeping your promise." She left the room and followed the Doctor back into the kitchen.

The TARDIS hummed, forever watching the pair of them. Guiding them and gently giving them a nudge in the right direction, but she never needed to worry. She knew The Oncoming Storm and the Bad Wolf would finally be a peace, with each other.


End file.
